Posts
Hello
You may see that there are no longer pictures here. We received an email from our agency asking us "to not post any pictures or identifying information about your child until the child is legally yours. It could be a cause of denying your adoption within the country of their birth."
Obviously we do not want to do anything that could harm the adoption process, so we have removed all pictures- and links to the picassa web pictures.
We are checking with our agency to see if it is ok to email pictures- if so please let us know if you would like any updates and we will add you to an email list.
(you can email me at melanie.gillgrist@gmail.com)
Thanks!!
Melanie
Monday, June 11, 2007
Saturday, June 9, 2007
We are home
Hi, it's Melanie. We landed a few hours ago.
I've been both drawn to wanting to post...and struggling to have words.
I thought a lot on the plane (at least the Houston to Seattle leg- Gua City to Houston I slept soundly!!), what words do I have to say?
I'm so glad that Rob posted pictures and some updates. It has been great reading your comments and encouragement. We do have a beautiful son. (maybe I shouldn't use the word beautiful as I am still getting over a woman asking "how old is she?" Rob said I looked at Samuel and then back at her as though I was amazed she could think my child was a girl- and said HE is four months today!)
Ok, so back to what do I have to say?
I think my emotions are still catching up with me. So I'm not sure I have much "emotion" to post tonight, but would love to share some of the "facts".
As many of you know, I'm a linear thinker....so here I go!
We arrived late Monday night to thunderstorms. We knew it was rainy season, but weren't expecting thunderstorms every afternoon. At least it was predictable!
I don't think I slept much Monday night- and I got up early to not miss the phone call to say they were here.
Our paperwork said that if we hadn't heard from them by 11am, we could call Oscar, our translator. At 10:59am we started dialing. He said we will be there at 1:30pm.
Our hearts both sunk as we were expecting the call any minute to say they are in the lobby....but also was relaxing to have a time set.
So at 1:30pm (mountain time) on June 5th we met Samuel for the first time.
I can picture so clearly the moment we walked into the lobby, and seeing the foster mom sitting on the sofa, as she turned around with Samuel on her lap, he looked up at us and slowly let out the biggest smile. He smiled and giggled with us for the next hour or two.
She handed him to me and we sat while we went over all the info- feedings, how to comfort him, etc. That's when we learned that he poops once a day and hadn't yet that day.
The foster mom and her mom were wonderful. I will have to have a whole post on them. They were kind and caring and so clearly love Samuel. They live in the Guatemala Highlands and it had taken them 5 hours by bus and taxi to get to the hotel. It is the greatest "consolation" (not sure if that's quite the right word) to know that Samuel is with them right now. It truly made saying goodbye much more about my sadness in missing him, but not concern on how he will be doing. He has four women (including her two teenage daughters) who love him and hold him and nurture him.
After we said goodbye to them, we headed up to the room. We held him and played with him and were immediately in love. After a while, we called my mom for her to come meet her grandson. It was wonderful to have her there. (Both from a practical sense in her help and it was so tender to see how natural she is as a grandmother for the first time).
Around this time is when the wheel fell off (isn't that the phrase Ted uses?). Samuel would not eat, we would try and try, but he would not take his bottle. And then the crying started. It broke our hearts. It was a cry that I later learned was different from I'm hungry or I need a diaper change. We tried everything.....that's when we became concerned that maybe he was constipated. That night was so hard.
Now I look and I think, for the first time he spent five hours on a bus, he is in this hotel, he doesn't know us and he is exhausted. Around 8pm he fell asleep. He slept until 2am. When he woke up, I tried feeding him and he took a couple of oz. At 4am he woke up, and was smiling, took a full bottle and from then on didn't stop smiling. He slept close to the same schedule the foster mom told us- to bed around 8pm, wakes up at 2am sometimes for a feeding, and then wakes up at 4 or 5am, takes a nap at 8:30am and at noon.
I knew it was trouble when I heard of an 8:30am NAP.
Tues was a hard day, I was so worried he was not going to get enough to eat. That worry soon disappered as I thought can he really be ready for another bottle?
It was a delight.
I'm realizing that I think I'm done for tonight. There is so much to type.
I'll continue on in the next couple of days, because there is much to say.
I'll close with a list of some of my favorite things of the week:
I've been both drawn to wanting to post...and struggling to have words.
I thought a lot on the plane (at least the Houston to Seattle leg- Gua City to Houston I slept soundly!!), what words do I have to say?
I'm so glad that Rob posted pictures and some updates. It has been great reading your comments and encouragement. We do have a beautiful son. (maybe I shouldn't use the word beautiful as I am still getting over a woman asking "how old is she?" Rob said I looked at Samuel and then back at her as though I was amazed she could think my child was a girl- and said HE is four months today!)
Ok, so back to what do I have to say?
I think my emotions are still catching up with me. So I'm not sure I have much "emotion" to post tonight, but would love to share some of the "facts".
As many of you know, I'm a linear thinker....so here I go!
We arrived late Monday night to thunderstorms. We knew it was rainy season, but weren't expecting thunderstorms every afternoon. At least it was predictable!
I don't think I slept much Monday night- and I got up early to not miss the phone call to say they were here.
Our paperwork said that if we hadn't heard from them by 11am, we could call Oscar, our translator. At 10:59am we started dialing. He said we will be there at 1:30pm.
Our hearts both sunk as we were expecting the call any minute to say they are in the lobby....but also was relaxing to have a time set.
So at 1:30pm (mountain time) on June 5th we met Samuel for the first time.
I can picture so clearly the moment we walked into the lobby, and seeing the foster mom sitting on the sofa, as she turned around with Samuel on her lap, he looked up at us and slowly let out the biggest smile. He smiled and giggled with us for the next hour or two.
She handed him to me and we sat while we went over all the info- feedings, how to comfort him, etc. That's when we learned that he poops once a day and hadn't yet that day.
The foster mom and her mom were wonderful. I will have to have a whole post on them. They were kind and caring and so clearly love Samuel. They live in the Guatemala Highlands and it had taken them 5 hours by bus and taxi to get to the hotel. It is the greatest "consolation" (not sure if that's quite the right word) to know that Samuel is with them right now. It truly made saying goodbye much more about my sadness in missing him, but not concern on how he will be doing. He has four women (including her two teenage daughters) who love him and hold him and nurture him.
After we said goodbye to them, we headed up to the room. We held him and played with him and were immediately in love. After a while, we called my mom for her to come meet her grandson. It was wonderful to have her there. (Both from a practical sense in her help and it was so tender to see how natural she is as a grandmother for the first time).
Around this time is when the wheel fell off (isn't that the phrase Ted uses?). Samuel would not eat, we would try and try, but he would not take his bottle. And then the crying started. It broke our hearts. It was a cry that I later learned was different from I'm hungry or I need a diaper change. We tried everything.....that's when we became concerned that maybe he was constipated. That night was so hard.
Now I look and I think, for the first time he spent five hours on a bus, he is in this hotel, he doesn't know us and he is exhausted. Around 8pm he fell asleep. He slept until 2am. When he woke up, I tried feeding him and he took a couple of oz. At 4am he woke up, and was smiling, took a full bottle and from then on didn't stop smiling. He slept close to the same schedule the foster mom told us- to bed around 8pm, wakes up at 2am sometimes for a feeding, and then wakes up at 4 or 5am, takes a nap at 8:30am and at noon.
I knew it was trouble when I heard of an 8:30am NAP.
Tues was a hard day, I was so worried he was not going to get enough to eat. That worry soon disappered as I thought can he really be ready for another bottle?
It was a delight.
I'm realizing that I think I'm done for tonight. There is so much to type.
I'll continue on in the next couple of days, because there is much to say.
I'll close with a list of some of my favorite things of the week:
- Bathing Samuel and listening to him giggle as he splashed the water
- Seeing his eyes light up when I would pick him up from a nap
- Changing his clothes a couple times a day (maybe not his favorite)
- Trying to speak Spanish
- Seeing Rob carry him in the baby bjorn
- Meeting the foster mom and some of her family
- Watching my mom talk with Samuel
- Samuel and Rob watching intently the cartoon channel (recommended by his foster mom)
- Having ten people reply to the fact that Samuel hadn't pooped and caring so much to follow the progress
Thoughts like that begin to bring tears to my eyes...and reminds me that my heart will catch up, and that I will soon post with all the emotion that the week was.
For now, I head to bed- exhausted- well more of an empty feeling. And I head to bed wishing I was being woken up at 2 or 4am.
love
melanie
PS Be sure to check out the link Rob posted below. Some more pictures have been added. I may also post here some of my favorites.
Wednesday, June 6, 2007
he pooped.
(rob) never seen people more excited... :) now we are off to breakfast. He also slept quite well, and enjoys the Cartoon Network.
Tuesday, June 5, 2007
please God, let him poop!
This is Rob. We're here! Samuel is in our room. He has smiled and smiled from the first moment we met him. He is so aware of people! His foster mom and her 79-year-old mother made a five-hour journey to bring him to us. They were lovely, lovely people and had plenty of advice, kindness, and good wishes for us.
Samuel is beyond words beautiful. I think I'm mainly hypervigilant about keeping him alive for the next several days at this point. He's been crying quite a bit. Lord knows why. Currently he's sucking on his fingers a bit... so far we haven't gotten him to eat or poop (but it's only been a few hours). Every time we try to feed him he starts crying. Perhaps he's constipated. Melanie and Joyce are hovering over him as I type, trying to get him to poop. Melanie keeps doing funny little things with him, saying, "I saw Ruthie do this with Judah" as she does.
Melanie is sky high. I'm sure you'll hear from her at some point.
I'd send pictures, but for some reasonn all the instructions on the blogsite are in spanish right now. Everything in my life is in spanish right now! As soon as I figure out how, I'll send some.
love to you all,
Rob
Samuel is beyond words beautiful. I think I'm mainly hypervigilant about keeping him alive for the next several days at this point. He's been crying quite a bit. Lord knows why. Currently he's sucking on his fingers a bit... so far we haven't gotten him to eat or poop (but it's only been a few hours). Every time we try to feed him he starts crying. Perhaps he's constipated. Melanie and Joyce are hovering over him as I type, trying to get him to poop. Melanie keeps doing funny little things with him, saying, "I saw Ruthie do this with Judah" as she does.
Melanie is sky high. I'm sure you'll hear from her at some point.
I'd send pictures, but for some reasonn all the instructions on the blogsite are in spanish right now. Everything in my life is in spanish right now! As soon as I figure out how, I'll send some.
love to you all,
Rob
Sunday, June 3, 2007
We leave in the morning
In about 24 hours we will be in Guatemala. And in about 36 hours we will be holding Samuel for the first time. It is sinking in.
Yesterday as I checked things off my list, I had a blanket for Samuel wrapped around my shoulders. I have washed it so it smells like our things and I have wrapped myself in it so it smells like me. So that when we leave it behind he will remember us.
We have duplicate toys, one to leave with him and one to have here. (Many things we bring for him may stay in Guatemala for the foster mom to have for the next baby. I'll bring back things that I want for keepsakes.) But we thought for toys we will leave one for him there and then when he comes here there will be familiar things.
I have lists of questions for the foster mom (thank you Julie and Holli!!) and have read up on developmental milestones at three and four months.
We have baby tylenol and medicine for diaper rash. Luggage full of bottles and formula....and lots of cute clothes (thank you Grandmas and Aunts).
We have books to read in English and Spanish (Goodnight Moon and Buenos Noches Luna).
Our church asked how to pray for us this morning and I am so struck with what a caring community we are part of. They have been intimately involved with each step- even having pictures up of Samuel in their homes. And this week they will water our flowers and have solitude in our attic and pray and pray and celebrate.
I sit here tonight realizing how prepared we are. And it strikes me- Samuel is at the only home he has ever known- maybe sleeping, maybe eating, maybe playing, maybe crying. He is hearing voices in Spanish and seeing familiar faces. We have prepared for this day for so long....and he has done nothing to prepare. No wondering what to wear the first time we meet, or if he should leap into my arms or wait for his foster mom to hand him to me. He is going through the routine he has known.
And in 36 hours will he wonder what hit him? He will be in a hotel, a place he's never been. There will be people with very light skin speaking in a funny language.
I said that to Rob- will he know what hit him? And he responded "love". "Love is what you will bring, don't hold back." I've got that- and with all my preparedness, love is what he will need. (and someone who knows how to change his diaper and prepare a bottle)
So if you pray, will you pray that we won't hold back the full force of our love. That we won't hold back how much we have desired this moment. Pray that in the transition of surroundings, Samuel will know love. Love that flows generously. Love that comes not from what we can offer on our own human strength. Love that has been shaped and formed deeply from the "well of grief", from hope.
At our small boat on Monday night, we were talking about what this transition might be like for Samuel....and Thomas said Samuel will look at us and say "Oh, these are the ones God was telling me about". That has stuck with me as I have prayed so often since his referral for his young heart to be tenderly drawn to God. And so that image has meant a lot. To trust that God has known the yearning of our hearts for so long. And that he knows Samuel- and he choose him for us.
So that would be my second area of prayer- for the transition to not merely be about all the "stuff", but to trust there is something deeper going on as we begin to bond with our son for the first time. So yes, please pray for him to feel safe and comfortable and to be healthly and for Rob and I not to panic with new parent tasks. And will you pray for our hearts and souls and spirits- to begin to shepherd and parent and love. I know right now he is so young, that most of our parenting is about physical care. But I know my love for him right now is so much more.
Our first meeting with Samuel is with a great "cloud of witnesses".
Thank you for being that.
love
melanie
Yesterday as I checked things off my list, I had a blanket for Samuel wrapped around my shoulders. I have washed it so it smells like our things and I have wrapped myself in it so it smells like me. So that when we leave it behind he will remember us.
We have duplicate toys, one to leave with him and one to have here. (Many things we bring for him may stay in Guatemala for the foster mom to have for the next baby. I'll bring back things that I want for keepsakes.) But we thought for toys we will leave one for him there and then when he comes here there will be familiar things.
I have lists of questions for the foster mom (thank you Julie and Holli!!) and have read up on developmental milestones at three and four months.
We have baby tylenol and medicine for diaper rash. Luggage full of bottles and formula....and lots of cute clothes (thank you Grandmas and Aunts).
We have books to read in English and Spanish (Goodnight Moon and Buenos Noches Luna).
Our church asked how to pray for us this morning and I am so struck with what a caring community we are part of. They have been intimately involved with each step- even having pictures up of Samuel in their homes. And this week they will water our flowers and have solitude in our attic and pray and pray and celebrate.
I sit here tonight realizing how prepared we are. And it strikes me- Samuel is at the only home he has ever known- maybe sleeping, maybe eating, maybe playing, maybe crying. He is hearing voices in Spanish and seeing familiar faces. We have prepared for this day for so long....and he has done nothing to prepare. No wondering what to wear the first time we meet, or if he should leap into my arms or wait for his foster mom to hand him to me. He is going through the routine he has known.
And in 36 hours will he wonder what hit him? He will be in a hotel, a place he's never been. There will be people with very light skin speaking in a funny language.
I said that to Rob- will he know what hit him? And he responded "love". "Love is what you will bring, don't hold back." I've got that- and with all my preparedness, love is what he will need. (and someone who knows how to change his diaper and prepare a bottle)
So if you pray, will you pray that we won't hold back the full force of our love. That we won't hold back how much we have desired this moment. Pray that in the transition of surroundings, Samuel will know love. Love that flows generously. Love that comes not from what we can offer on our own human strength. Love that has been shaped and formed deeply from the "well of grief", from hope.
At our small boat on Monday night, we were talking about what this transition might be like for Samuel....and Thomas said Samuel will look at us and say "Oh, these are the ones God was telling me about". That has stuck with me as I have prayed so often since his referral for his young heart to be tenderly drawn to God. And so that image has meant a lot. To trust that God has known the yearning of our hearts for so long. And that he knows Samuel- and he choose him for us.
So that would be my second area of prayer- for the transition to not merely be about all the "stuff", but to trust there is something deeper going on as we begin to bond with our son for the first time. So yes, please pray for him to feel safe and comfortable and to be healthly and for Rob and I not to panic with new parent tasks. And will you pray for our hearts and souls and spirits- to begin to shepherd and parent and love. I know right now he is so young, that most of our parenting is about physical care. But I know my love for him right now is so much more.
Our first meeting with Samuel is with a great "cloud of witnesses".
Thank you for being that.
love
melanie
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