The long winding road to Samuel

Samuel's Friends

2008-11-18T08:43:00.000-08:00

Here are a few pictures of Samuel with his Seattle friends taken over the last year.

Being Appreciated

2008-11-17T08:49:00.000-08:00

October was Pastor Appreciation Month. Our church gave us a night away, complete with a relay team to take care of Samuel. We went this past Friday night- it was wonderful!!

We checked into the Sheraton downtown Seattle around 4pm. And as we checked in we were told we had a message "you have dinner reservations at the Purple Cafe at 7:30pm". We were so excited! We headed up to our room on the 31st floor where we had an amazing view of Seattle.

We then did one of my favorite pastimes that is more difficult to do with Samuel- we went to Barnes and Noble. But we then had to pry ourselves away from the Thomas the Train section- after spending 5 min there discussing the different trains, we laughed and thought we have a night without Samuel and we think about him and look at trains for him. Right as we were leaving the bookstore we had a text saying "not to intrude, but Samuel went to bed easily, no crying". That was just what I needed to not worry and completely enjoy the evening!

We walked around Seattle and then showed up at the Purple Cafe for our dinner reservation. Nothing like being seated at a table with a great view and then being handed a gift card for the meal. We had a wonderful dinner.

We both slept in until 9am on Saturday! And then got Top Pot donuts and headed home. Samuel greeted us at the door with a huge jump in the air and ran towards us.

Rob and I both said we felt so cared for...not having to think of any details and having surprises along the way.

Thank you for planning this, contributing towards it and taking care of Samuel so that we could experience a relaxing and fun night!

Rob and Melanie

2008-11-15T15:01:00.000-08:00

HAPPY 6TH BIRTHDAY BRENNAN!!!

Love
Uncle Rob, Aunt Melanie and Samuel

Friday Family Fun Days

2008-11-14T07:49:00.000-08:00

As a pastor, Sundays are usually really full. Many friends have been intentional in making sure we have a day off. Not easy for my husband with self admitted work aholic tendencies. I have been so proud of Rob's commitment to making that happen. Every Friday we have declared Family Fun Days. We have all kinds of fun adventures. From the museum of flight to driving over the mountains to setting up a tent in our house and having a pajama day.

Here are some pictures from our Fridays the last few months.

Day at Carkeek Park

Zoo-masium

Petting Farm

Air Force One as the Museum of Flight

Ferry Ride

Park

Zoo again

Caption??

2008-11-12T07:56:00.000-08:00

What's your caption for this photo taken this past spring?

Old as dirt

2008-11-11T08:10:00.001-08:00

Here is an excerpt of an email I received from my sister in law Karen yesterday.

"Brennan wanted to know whose birthday is the closest to Christmas. I said Aunt Melanie and then he said, "That's right. Do you want to know why?" Always a loaded question, but I went for it and asked why. "Because the earth was made and and Aunt Melanie was born and then right away she had a birthday and was two months old." I'm sorry that you just became as old as the earth."

Karen did go on to interpret that probably Brennan was thinking Jesus was born at Christmas and then my birthday is a week later....not necessarily thinking of the years separating, but of the order of the year.

So there you have it- the earth was created and then Aunt Melanie was born.

Going off birth control

2008-11-10T08:46:00.000-08:00

Now there's a title that will get your attention.
Rob and I submitted our preliminary application for a second adoption. I told Rob, it is like when friends tell us they "going off birth control". Submitting our prelim application is our same stage of trying for number two.

We have a few concerns as we start the process- finances, timing, age (do you know that I am 23 years older than my mom was when she had me!). But none of those feel like obstacles to our decision to proceed.

The biggest "concern" is that our heart is still with Guatemala and we would love for Samuel to have a sibling from the same culture as him. As many of you know Guatemala is currently closed to international adoptions. There is talk of it reopening, but no known date.

So we currently sit at a place of wondering how long to we wait to see? What other countries are we drawn to?

We received back the "results" of our prelim application and there are four countries that are good matches (based on their criteria as well as our desire for a child to be younger than Samuel). Rob and I were drawn to the same two countries, so that was encouraging.

For now, we can proceed with our home study and the initial stages of the adoption process. Our social worker knows are desire for Guatemala and has said that we would have at least 3 months before we would have to declare a country.

If you pray, would you pray for us as we begin this process of trying for our second child through adoption? Pray that we will have wisdom and discernment. Pray for the work being done in Guatemala as the overhaul their process. Pray for the son or daughter of ours who may already be conceived or even born. Pray that I don't overanalyze the situation and read every resource out there. Pray that if it is not Guatemala that we will have excitment and peace grow for another country.

Thanks so much for always journeying with us.

Love
melanie

Joy Joy Joy

2008-11-08T11:00:00.001-08:00

Joy, Samuel and I went for a walk around Green Lake last week (or the week before). Earlier this summer Rob and I were with Samuel and he kept pointing to someone saying Ja Ja Ja. When we finally paid attention, we noticed him pointing to a woman who from the back looked a lot like Joy- he was confused why we weren't going to say hi to her.

When he says her name it is always in threes. It's getting closer to sounding like Joy Joy Joy instead of Ja Ja Ja.

21 Months

2008-11-07T07:40:00.000-08:00

Samuel is 21 months today!!

These pictures are from Thurs afternoon. The rainy season has started in Seattle- the 10 day forecast says "rain/showers high 52 degrees"...every day. At least Samuel is well equipped. He was splashing in the puddles in his new boots from Abuela and running his new train James from Mamu and Papa, along the driveway. (Thanks Grandparents!)

Age 2 is right around the corner!

Abuela and Tia Sally

2008-11-06T08:18:00.000-08:00

Well, I am once again going back in time. Not as far back as the yearbook pictures I posted below.....but as I keep going through pictures of the last year I discover ones that I haven't posted yet. My mom (Abuela) and my Aunt Sally came out to Seattle last March. (Tia Sally lives in Chicago and for those of you who don't know, my mom is one of 13 children. My mom is number 10 and Aunt Sally is number 11)

Here are some pictures from their trip.

We went to Victoria for 2 days. Samuel stayed in the hotel room with my mom and aunt...this is how we found him the next morning. Looks like they partied all night.

Election Day

2008-11-04T12:14:00.000-08:00

Samuel and I went to vote this morning.
He sat very patiently in his stroller playing with James (the train) while I voted.
I didn't realize that Washington is going to a completely mail in system in 2009...and that currently 60% of Seattle residents use mail in. I like going to the polls to vote, I'll miss that.

But on a plus side, it did result in voting place not being busy at all this morning.

Here's a couple of pictures of Samuel celebrating voting (with his sticker that says "Farewell to Polls. I voted 2008)

Random Post

2008-11-03T21:43:00.000-08:00

I saw this recently on one of my adoption boards....a place you can go, upload a photo of yourself and see what you would look like in any past years.

I went for the year I was born- so here I am in the late 60s.
I have to say I was a little disappointed that it wasn't so different!

So I tried a different year- this is a little better

What do you look like?

Samuel as Thomas

2008-11-02T09:58:00.000-08:00

Here at the pictures from Halloween....and more details for those who have patiently been waiting.

Samuel had a fun night. The first couple of houses, he wasn't sure what was going on. But he quickly got the hang of it. He would go up to the door and stand there with his bag out. He even picked up on knocking on the door.

We have such great neighbors. They were all very excited to see Samuel. He even had a few of them take pictures of him.

And he seemed to enjoy being Thomas the Train. He enthusiastically ran around the house saying choo choo. His hat didn't stay on long. We would put it on before each house...and then after receiving candy and leaving the house, he would promptly pull it off.

You can't see too much in this picture...but I included it to see a glimpse of Rob's conductor hat. He wore that and carried a train whistle.

Happy First Trick or Treating Halloween Samuel!!

Trains

2008-10-31T08:40:00.000-07:00

Samuel's fascination with trains began this summer.
He and Rob were at a park.
They had walked down to the water, under a railroad track.
Soon a train came by.
Samuel waved and the conductor blew the horn.
He was amazed.

Since then when you ask him what sound a train makes, he says "choo choo" and then waves.
He associates the wave with the train.

His love of trains has grown since.
Loves seeing them as we drive.
Loves playing at the train table at Barnes and Noble.
Loves watching Thomas as a special Sat morning treat with Dada.

And so for Halloween, Samuel is going to be Thomas the Train.
I have to admit, there were such "cute" costumes like lions and monkeys.
I thought, he would look adorable.

But nothing excites him as much as his trains and saying choo choo.

Look tomorrow for pictures.

Bob and Sue's visit

2008-10-30T10:17:00.000-07:00

Here are a few pictures from Bob and Sue's trip to Washington.
To survive leaving the sunshine of South Carolina, we headed across the mountains and went to Leavenworth and then on to the Grand Coulee Dam. Bob worked on a Westinghouse generator there in the early 70s. It was so fun to be there with him. And it is impressive!!

Camera Found- here is the last picture taken

2008-10-29T11:13:00.000-07:00

Hello

As many of you know, our camera has been missing for a while.

Today I went on a serious hunt for it's location, and it was in......

the diaper bag.

Now I am sure I checked there several times. Today I emptied it's entire contents and there it was, along with some other unmentionable items, that I think were at one time food.

Funny it was with me every day as I am seldom without my diaper bag!!

I was interested in seeing the last picture taken. Here it is- it was from a date night Rob and I had on Sept 18th. Ruthie watched Samuel and we had dinner at the Melting Pot- yum.

Here is Rob post new glasses and pre new haircut.

(oh and I suppose me pre covering my gray:)

At The Park

2008-10-28T12:54:00.001-07:00

Yesterday afternoon Kathleen and I went to the park with Samuel.
It was a beautiful sunny fall day. (That doesn't happen too frequently in Seattle falls)
Kathleen took a bunch of pictures...and even put together a collage of some of them.

Rob took the bus from downtown and met us there.

Our plan was to go to the zoo, but Samuel napped longer than usual and didn't get up in time to make it. Imagine that, things not going as planned with a toddler!

Here are some pictures- thanks Kathleen.
Now I'm going to go look for our camera in all of those places the previous post mentioned:)

Having fun on the slide!

An uneven teeter totter.

Laughing with Kathleen.

Heading home....

Slipper in the Frig

2008-10-27T08:21:00.000-07:00

Before I was a mom, I never....

found a stuffed animal in the dishwasher
heard my cell phone ring deep inside the toy bin
discovered my long lost keys in the high chair
felt a monkey in my shoe
spotted string cheese stuck in through the hole in the drawer of Samuel's dresser
found clean clothes stuffed in the diaper genie
grabbed a giraffe magnet while searching the drawer for a measuring spoon
pulled out a block that was blocking my printer from printing
saw raisins lined up on the stairs like ants marching
found my slipper chilling in the refrigerator

(and that's just my top ten:)

Melanie

July in Minnesota

2008-10-23T13:45:00.000-07:00

Samuel and I went to Minnesota for 2 weeks in July. Rob was able to join us for about 5 days in the middle of the trip. We had the 3rd annual golf tournament in memory of my Dad.

We spent lots of time at parks and playgrounds. Trips to the Children's Museum, the zoo and the aquarium. Along with lots of time playing in Abuela's house and yard.

This playground is at Carver Lake, close to my moms house.

Samuel had lots of fun playing in the pool. Although I'm not sure what to think of his attempts to drown Curious George. (Or perhaps as someone suggested, he was baptizing him)

At Teddy Bear park in Stillwater.

With Mari and Maycee. Their parents (Terry and Jill) are good friends of my parents (and us too!) Terry is the impetus behind the golf tournament and as a family they make the annual trip to Minnesota for it. Samuel loved playing with them. (And their older sister Maggie, who was celebrating her 13th Bday)

Our first trip to Mall of America park. (It was previously known as Camp Snoopy, but I can't think of what it is now called)

Riding the hot air balloons.

With Abuela (my mom) on the Carousel.

At moms house.

Some messy eating.

At the Children's Museum, rooftop sandbox.

Our second trip to MOA. (With Rob and to celebrate Maggie's 13th bday)

What do these have in common?

2008-10-22T12:06:00.000-07:00

Ball
Baby
Amen
Apple
Fish
Jump

South Carolina

2008-10-21T13:14:00.001-07:00

As you may notice, I am working my way through the last few months.
In June we took a fun family trip to South Carolina to visit Rob's family.
Samuel loved the ocean and playing in the sand...so much so that a later trip to the pool was met with indignation.

(For those who don't know, Rob's parents live in SC as well as his "little" brother Ted, his wife Karen and their three beautiful kids. Not sure why I chose to say little, as I know Ted is taller, but I always smile when I hear Rob call him his little brother.)

Looking at the water with Mamu

Papa, DaDa and Samuel

I love the above picture of the cousins

And this one of Ted and Karen.

Mothers Day

2008-10-19T07:26:00.000-07:00

Bob and Sue left yesterday...and I am still blogging!
I was going through any pictures taken since the "recliner"- and realized there's a lot.
Here's a few that were taken on our first mothers day with Samuel.

My first mothers day breakfast in bed.
All the Wits End Moms sharing:
Brunch at church:
Samuel brought me to 3rd Place Books, gave me some cash and a few hours to explore.

Coke Cans

2008-10-15T08:30:00.001-07:00

The other night I got Samuel ready for bed, went to put some things in the frig and turned around to this!!

(yes I had the camera right there ready for such shots:)

So I thought, I'll just see how high he can go.

Six was no problem.

On the 7th one, now taller than him, it started tipping.

For those of you who know how much I love Coke, you will notice I let this experiment happen with Rob's Diet Coke.

Decisions

2008-10-13T18:28:00.001-07:00

How do you make decision?

I'm an analytical person- list of pros and cons and spreadsheets that weight different values.
I'm a person of faith- lots of prayer, listening and noticing.
I'm an ESFJ- so whatever that might mean for decision making- along with externally processing it all.

I mention all of this to talk about a decision I made a month ago. I was forwarded a job description. Not just any job description, but one that sounded like it was made just for me. It combined finance- using my mba and analytical skills, purpose- a non profit that I believe in and a focus on at-risk girls and women- playing into my all womens college eduation that always draws me into strenghtening and bringing tenderness into womens lives.

And it was 15 hours a week. And the pay was great- on par for a full time job.

So of course I would apply for it. At least apply and see what happens. The next hour I would think, I love staying home with Samuel- I'm not going to apply. But only 15 hours a week- that's nothing. I could work 3 five hour days or 5 three hour days or maybe 2 full days- I'll apply. But I went through a similiar decision last fall and made the decision to stay home- I'll not apply.

And so went my own "mommy wars" in my mind.

And so increased the conversation I had with Rob and with my mom and with friends. Keep in mind this was only in the decision to apply. If it caused this much thought, why not at least apply and it might not even be a decision I have to make. But deep in my soul it seemed so important to know what I wanted, to have some intention.

I honestly couldn't figure it out. Couldn't figure out why I changed day by day. How can I feel so differently moment by moment?

And then one day at the childrens museum, I had a revelation. I was watching Samuel play. I loved watching his intensity as he was figuring out how the water flowed. With tears, I thought, this is what I want. I want to spend this season with him...and am grateful it is an option, although not without sacrifice. And I knew I wasn't going to apply for the job, that I didn't want to work 15 hours a week....and for a moment felt freedom from guilt for that thought.

And then I asked God, will I change my mind tomorrow? Why do I keep changing?

And it felt so clear. "I do not feel I am making this decision just for me. I am making it for all women." As I have reflected on that, I realized I couldn't hear my own voice due to all the other voices, important voices. In this season, I had knowledge of what I wanted- but felt it was "irresponsible" or "selfish" to decide just for me. Does that make sense?

I was feeling that if I stayed home I was saying all women should stay home. And if I worked I was saying women should work. I don't feel either one of those is true. There are a lot of circumstances, desires, gifting that lead women to making one or the other decisions. Along with a lot of the same that lead women into feeling they "have to" stay home or work.

I asked Rob if he understood. And he said yes...but "I have never felt I am making a decision for all white men." Interesting. As much as I knew I wasn't obviously wasn't deciding for all, I felt such weight in what I decided.

Through this process, being able to identify why I was struggling, I feel I have come out on the other side with a freedom. To be able to say, without defense, I am going to stay home. I do not think it is the "right" thing to do. I do not know if it is what I will decide in another season of life. But I am confident it is what my heart and soul is calling forth from me.

So how do you make decisions?
And for women, have you been caught in the mommy wars? And how do you hear what your heart is calling you to?

love
melanie

One Year Ago

2008-10-12T22:12:00.000-07:00

One year ago today:

We woke up at the Marriott in Guatemala City.
We packed up luggage and held a sleepy baby at 4am as a shuttle headed to the airport.
We planned out how much formula would be needed and worried if the security would let it through.
We boarded our flight to Houston and wondered what Samuel's first flight would be like.

We landed in Houston and waited in the Immigrations room for our interview.
We said good bye to Mamu and Papa.
We boarded another flight, a longer flight to Seattle.
We landed in Seattle and were greeted by Abuela who had just flown in from MN and by Nathan who had long prayed for this moment.
We brought Samuel into our home and gave him a tour and he giggled, impressive after a long long day of travel
We checked in on him sleeping in his crib about every 10 minute, to make sure he is breathing.

One year ago today:

Our life changed.
Our dreams came true.
Our new path as parents began.
And we still check on him sleeping in his crib, just to watch the peacefulness as he sleeps.

Rob's Parents are here....

2008-10-11T17:46:00.000-07:00

They arrived this morning and one of the first things Sue said to me is "I will watch Samuel and you can update your blog this week!" She is not the only one who has commented on my lack of blogging.

Friends from college who live far away emailing to tell me how much they loved it when I used to blog......my brother in law who has said he is going to remove me from his blogroll if I don't post soon.....co-workers of Rob's at Mars Hill who have missed seeing new pictures of Samuel.

I have lots of posts in my head, they just haven't quite made it to my blog.

And so this post is a "teaser" to say look forward to me blogging and posting pictures in this upcoming week!!

Actually tomorrow is an extremely important day. One year ago tomorrow (10/12/07), we left Guatemala with Samuel in our arms...and we arrived in Seattle. It has gone by so quickly and yet, I can not remember life without him.

More reflections to come.

And oh, here is a more recent picture of Samuel.

love
melanie

The Recliner

2008-05-01T21:00:00.000-07:00

The day Rob turned 37, a leather recliner was delivered to our door. (Something about 37 is old enough to have your first recliner....Here is a pic from his bday party that evening) He was so excited. He loves it- sitting right in the corner by the windows- he drinks his coffee there, prays there, lays back and stares out the windows there, watches baseball games from there, reads theology books from there, has interesting conversations with me from there, and types long thoughts onto his laptop there (which is what he is doing right this minute).

And now, just slightly over a year since that chair was delivered, he holds Samuel from there, tickles Samuel from there, reads to Samuel from there, hugs Samuel from there, laughs loudly with Samuel from there and teaches Samuel from there.

Here are some recent pictures of that.

Six Months

2008-04-23T14:44:00.000-07:00

April 12th marked the six month anniversary of our plane touching ground in Seattle, of Samuel's first day in our home, first night sleeping in his crib.
A few Fridays ago we had our last social worker visit. Samuel always "shines" for those visits, it's like he is being interviewed and brings out all of his "tricks" to show- do you want me to clap, say mama, run around the room, bring you a ball, laugh hysterically, I can do it all for you. M (our sw) delights in him- and in seeing all my "attaching in adoption" books lying around the house, assures me he is doing well.
I know deep in my heart that he is- that is adjusting, that he loves us and trusts us- that he is flourishing- growing, exploring, testing. Some days, even knowing that, I cry over the loss he has endured, that he will not face for a while. I cry thinking of his foster mom- who from her emails I know misses him deeply. I cry wondering about his "first" family- do they think about him every day- wondering if he is walking, what he looks like?
I cry because I can not answer the questions he will have someday. But I can give him my tears- now and when that one day comes.
I love him so deeply- miss him when he is sleeping, stare at him when he is playing, laugh with him when he dances around the room. He is so full of personality- of passion- every moment is one of extreme happiness and laughter, or grave disappointment. He doesn't seem to live much in the middle. Except his daily afternoon break, when he says, mama I need a little alone time and scoots off to his room, where he pulls every, yes every book off the shelf, in search of just the perfect one for that given day. And once he finds it, plops down in the middle of them all, and "reads" it- over and over and over. It's one of my favorite moments of the day- when I peak in, and he doesn't see me. And I watch him telling himself a story with words I don't yet understand. And about 30 min later he emerges, refreshed and ready for another adventure.
Eight months of his life in Guatemala, six months of his life here.
All of those months shaping who he will be- and yet they are not the final determiner. It will always be part of his story that he is adopted, that he had mothers that loved him a lot, and that failed him (as I am already aware of in my own human limitations). He will have things that the world will say are limitations and that are advantages. Thank you God that you are larger, that there is more to the story you are writing through Samuel- more than the facts of this life, more than the circumstances- they will add description, but you will develop the soul.
Thank you that I have the privilege of being around for the process. Keep teaching me how to teach, to nurture, to have wisdom....and to hold it all loosely.

In Oregon

2008-03-23T20:36:00.001-07:00

Laughing on Dad's shoulders

And hanging upside down

Showing Curious George the ocean!

And with Mama

Samuel's First Train Ride

2008-03-23T20:14:00.000-07:00

Samuel and I took a spontaneous train ride a few weeks ago from Seattle to Portland. He loved the train.
Rob had gone to the Oregon coast....after a couple of days we decided it would be fun to join him. So off we went. It was a three and half hour trip- we had lots of room, Samuel looked out the window for an hour, napped for an hour and then we had lunch in the "bistro car".
Lots of fun.
(other than having to bring a car seat, pack n play, stroller, diaper bag and oh luggage for myself!

QTips

2008-03-06T19:38:00.001-08:00

Helping Dad with his sermon....

2008-02-13T23:09:00.000-08:00

My First Birthday

2008-02-07T21:21:00.000-08:00

I decided to spend a lot of my day taking it easy- so I took some long naps (2.5 hours twice today)...could also be because I am still getting better, my antibiotics are helping.

Here is me when mom and dad came to wake me up from my second nap and tell me it was time for cake!!

Here I am opening presents and talking with mamu, papa....then uncle ted and then abuela on the phone.

And then reading and playing in my room....

And now on to cake. I was hesitant at first, usually they are always taking things out of mouth, but they seemed ok with me eating this.
so I then decided to lick the plate

Happy First Birthday Samuel!!

2008-02-07T08:06:00.000-08:00

Happy First Birthday sweet little boy!! I can't believe it has been four months since you have been home. And I can't imagine life without you.

Please post birthday wishes and memories of Samuels first year- from when we first had his referral to more recent months.

I'll put up pictures from today later on.

Samuels Haircut

2008-02-05T15:15:00.001-08:00

While we were in MN, Samuel had his first haircut since being home. (He had two while with his foster mom in Guatemala).

He was intrigued by the whole process, I was surprised how still he sat....and by how much hair was cut.

Nate and Samuel!!

2008-02-05T14:41:00.000-08:00

On January 16th Samuel and Nate met each other!! Nate is the son of my dear dear friend Julie. We have been friends since we were 10 (yes that is a long time) Nate was born 4 days before Samuel. When we were 10 years old, I'm sure neither of us would have guessed that we would have our first child at age 40 and they would only be born 4 days apart!! (ok, Julie was actually 39 when Nate was born- and then the following month turned 40).

Julie, Nate and Jul's mom, Claudia all flew in from Massachusetts, Samuel and I came from Seattle, and we met at my moms house in Minnesota. We had a wonderful time, it was so fun to see Jul as a mom (and to see her as she prepares for her second child due May 13th!!)

Here are pictures of the boys- from meeting at the airport,

to discovering a tupperware drawer,

to figuring out how to climb the stairs,

to having a blast crawling all bundled up at church.

enjoying our bottles at Starbucks

Before Christmas Pictures- Samuel and Mama

2008-01-11T22:08:00.000-08:00

Ok, so I haven't charged my camera battery to download the Christmas pictures to my computer....so here are some pre Christmas pictures- ones we took for our Christmas cards.

Christmas Pictures Coming Soon

2008-01-05T14:27:00.000-08:00

Hello

Many of you know that Rob's dad has been in the hospital the last few weeks. Actually it was the day after my last post, 12/15 that we received the call he was at the hospital which turned out to be due to heart problems.
We arrived in South Carolina on Christmas Eve....we opened presents at the hospital room on Christmas Day and on the 26th, Bob went in for open heart surgery. It was a long day, with some unexpected (and expected) complications. We were in SC until Jan 2nd. Bob is doing better and was just moved out of ICU a couple of days ago. Please continue to pray for his healing and rehabilitation.
Although it was not a typical Christmas, one of the highlights was seeing Samuel with his mamu, papa, Uncle Ted, Aunt Karen and his cousins- Kaitlyn, Brennan and Ethan. It was so fun to see him play with them.
I didn't take many pictures....but will soon post the ones I have.
Samuel is adjusting back to his routine in Seattle. He did great on the flights- well as great as a 10 month old can. He slept on the shorter flights, but was awake for the longer ones (Seattle to Newark and then DC to Seattle- 5-6 hour flights)
He is napping right now- but is waking up at 4am, saying, hey, it's 7am in Charleston!!

Happy New Year!
love
melanie

Happy Birthday Rob!!

2007-12-14T19:30:00.000-08:00

Today (12/14) is Rob's 38th Birthday!!

I remember the first birthday of Rob's I celebrated- it was his 29th. We had a little party for him at my house. We started dating that following January- must have been something about the party I threw!

And I remember his 30th, we had just gotten engaged. I surprised him by gathering friends together at Cafe Latte- and then "spontaneously" suggested we go there after we had dinner. I remember as we walked by the window, he said, "hey, Ricardo is here....and Jon and Julie...and Nathan....and John....and Hope....and hmmmm"

On his 31st, we had been married just over six months and were living in Mpls. His 32nd we had sold our house and were living with my parents. His 33rd we were living on campus at Bethel. I remember bits of those celebrations, but which year was which blurs.

His 34th was our first year in Seattle and had a few friends over for dinner. His 35th we threw a big party. I remember decorating the Christmas tree all with picture ornaments of Rob throughout his years. Everyone brought a gift of music, and a favorite CD and we compiled a big wish list.

On his 36th birthday we were moving into our new house.

On his 37th, last year, we gathered friends together for an evening of singing. Thomas and Kelli brought their keyboard, and we spend the night singing hymns and carols. I remember when I had asked Rob what he would like to do- he said "I want to sing like I did when I was a kid. I remember my dad playing the organ and all of us gathered around singing" That's what we did.

And now, his 38th....the three of us are at home. Rob is sitting in his recliner. Christmas lights are on. Samuel is sleeping. As peaceful as that sounds, life is not perfect. Today was a day of hard conversations for Rob. But somehow, saying, Samuel is downstairs sleeping, it all fades. And this birthday is one I will remember as his first one as a Dad.

I will remember how he instantly fell in love with his son.

How he loves to toss him in the air and how he can make Samuel laugh and laugh.

How Rob tries to get Samuel to say "ma ma ma ma" although all he will say is "da da da da". (Maybe for my birthday...)

The other day, I had to finish up some writing for work, so Samuel and Rob joined me at Cloud City Coffee. They have a great kids area. They sat there and played while I worked. There was this moment of me peeking over my laptop and seeing Rob talking to Samuel and getting out his lunch....he had brought a bowl and a bib. I was so touched. And I remembered that I had my camera with me. I took these pictures without them knowing.

I love how Samuel is looking up so intently at Rob. And Rob with his mouth open. It was a wonderful glimpse. For over seven years Rob has amazed me as a husband. We have learned and grown and changed.

And now I have the privilege of journeying with him as he discovers fatherhood. I know we have a lot to learn, but never for a moment do I doubt his heart of love for his son. His complete devotion to teach and train and laugh and be with Samuel as he experiences life.

He even loved the "Transformer stickers" that Samuel bought him for his birthday. We were at Target and he kept reaching for them, insisting that we buy them for dad's bday. He also bought his Dad, Monsters Inc.

Tomorrow night we are venturing out for dinner. Tim and Kathleen are coming to watch Samuel- a first for us.

But tonight, we are at home, the three of us. The three of us.

Happy Birthday!

Christmas Tree Farm

2007-12-13T10:01:00.000-08:00

This past Saturday, Joy and Ruben invited Samuel (and us) to go along with them to cut down their Christmas tree. Here are some pictures from the day!

More recent pictures

2007-12-09T23:50:00.001-08:00

Here are a few pictures that were taken around Thanksgiving.

Playing with Kathleen

2007-12-09T23:42:00.001-08:00

Here is Samuel with Kathleen. We meet every Thurs morning, and Samuel looks forward to getting to play with Kathleen (I think she likes it too.) I have a great picture of the two of them at A New Yarn, where she works. Samuel is wearing the sweater she made. (but the pic is still on my camera, with many others- I think this one was taken about a month ago)

More Pictures More Pictures

2007-12-05T12:53:00.000-08:00

Ok, I have received several emails requesting (demanding) more pictures. I didn't know so many people looked at the blog until I didn't post for a while.

There are many pictures I could share. But I will start with this one. Out of all the books for Samuel to choose, this is the one he was drawn to. Along with Brown Bear, Brown Bear, it's a favorite.

We also had some great photos taken for Christmas cards- but you will have to wait to see those in the mail. (and then I'll post more of them here). They were taken by a friend of a friend who is a "missionary photojournalist". She travels taking pictures of people and various ministries and organizations. She leaves this week for Africa. She takes photos to raise funds for her ministry. She doesn't have any set charges, but asks for a donation of any amount. We had lots of fun with her.

First Thanksgiving

2007-11-24T22:35:00.000-08:00

We had a wonderful Thanksgiving. It wasn't hard to remember what we are thankful for this year. Seven years we have waited for moments like this. Seven long years that have shaped us. Seven years that deepens the gratitude.
I was also very aware of my dad's absence. I often am. And especially now. He would be leading the charge on remembering the past year, marking it and celebrating it.

Here are a few pictures. Samuel had his very own charger (something I know the name for after my Pier 1 days). He loved all the food on the table. He tried sweet potatoes, mashed potatoes, carrots, cornbread and green beans.

Samuel's First Bump

2007-11-20T16:11:00.000-08:00

Sunday night Samuel had his first fall that left a mark behind. He has been pulling himself up on everything. I was right there, but before I knew it he moved to grasp something less stable, did this amazing twist and went head first into the bottom of the iron stair railing. (We were downstairs, he wasn't in any danger of the stairs. Funny, my thoughts as I start typing are "will someone think I'm a bad mom....")
So yes, he chose the hardest thing in the room to test out his head strength.

He cried so hard. And cried and cried. There was a knot right away and looked like it would be a bad bruise. After about 5 min of crying he was comforted and went off to play again. He seemed himself the rest of the night- eating just fine, splashing in the bathtub, etc. If only mom could bounce back that quickly. (Fortunately my internet searches comforted me- that doesn't always happen)

Monday morning I was expecting a big bruise. But it was all gone. No swelling, no bump, no bruises. And Monday morning he was right back to standing up everywhere. I wonder if he noticed that I am a little closer by now.....

I'll handle this.....

2007-11-18T23:08:00.001-08:00

Samuel seems to be saying, "Mom, do you see that dadada (as he somewhat says) has fallen asleep? I had to finish the bottle all by myself."

Great Great Aunt Mary

2007-11-15T19:13:00.000-08:00

Here is Samuel showing off one of the several bibs that Great Great Aunt Mary made for him!!

Crawling Crawling

2007-11-15T10:01:00.000-08:00

Wow, who knew how much crawling would change life? (Well, I suppose lots of you out there knew it would)
Samuel had been getting up on his hands and knees and rocking for a while. And then on Oct 31st he took his first few crawls. Rob and I were both eating breakfast and were so excited we screamed. Really loud. So loud that Samuel stopped dead in his tracks, probably wondering what did I do wrong. No more crawls after that!
Now, the last week or so he is just cruising around (and around and around). He looks like he has been crawling all of his life.
And now, crawling doesn't seem to be enough. He has begun to pull himself up on things. Problem with that is that he hasn't figured out a way to gracefully get back down.
We knew we had some things to baby proof- but Samuel is now showing how many other things we need to protect him from. A friend yesterday said that the best way to baby proof a house is to put a baby in the house. That's for sure!!

At the Water

2007-11-13T20:53:00.000-08:00

Here are some pictures we took last week in Edmonds. (It is the town we lived in when we first moved to WA). This is the Puget Sound, at the Ferry Dock. Samuel loved looking at the water and tentatively played with the sand. Somehow he knew this stuff didn't go into his mouth.

Three Shots in Seattle

2007-11-12T17:35:00.000-08:00

Did any of you hear a cry, a scream around 3pm PST?
That would have been Samuel having three shots at his first doctors appt in Seattle.
Thankfully the crying only lasted about 2 min and the shots were quickly forgotton as he played with his image in the big mirror by the exam table.

Is it always that hard to listen to your baby cry?

Oh, and he weighed 18.5 lbs and was 27.5 inches long.

Squash

2007-11-08T13:31:00.000-08:00

Sweater

2007-11-01T11:46:00.001-07:00

Samuel is wearing the sweater that our friend Kathleen made for him. (She is an amazing knitter) It looks so adorable on him- I love the colors.

Happy Halloween

2007-10-31T19:00:00.000-07:00

Discovering leaves

2007-10-30T13:38:00.001-07:00

Samuel loves going for walks. (or rather being pushed by me)
No matter what kind of mood he is when, once he sits in the stroller he becomes the most reflective 8 month old. He looks at everything around him in awe. He gets really quiet, eyes wide open and soaks it all in.
On our most recent trip he discovered leaves. And amazingly held on to one for the whole trip without it going into his mouth. (Well once we got home and he realized I was about to take it, he did a quick taste- that's the last picture, with the satisfied grin of "I got it in my mouth")

Modeling My New Jacket

2007-10-29T23:04:00.000-07:00

Thanks Aunt Sally for finding my new jacket!!

Meeting Lydia

2007-10-22T23:02:00.001-07:00

Some dear friends of ours are also adopting from Guatemala. On our trip to pick up Samuel we were so honored to meet their little girl. She is just adorable- and Samuel had fun meeting her!! (I have been joking of an arranged marriage....)

Their foster mom brought Lydia to the hotel and we spent almost three hours with them. It was so much fun. Please pray that they will soon exit PGN and have Lydia home in their arms.

Mom and Samuel in the leaves

2007-10-19T16:53:00.000-07:00

Here we are in our front yard.

Steelers Fan

2007-10-19T13:33:00.000-07:00

Thanks to Brooke and Joel for Samuel's Steelers outfit (hat, bodysuit and socks). The hat made it's debut the other day when Rob took Samuel for a quick walk!! I'm told the rest will make an appearance at the Superbowl (right when 12 month clothes will fit him- perfect timing!!)

Rob's Rocker

2007-10-17T19:16:00.001-07:00

This rocker was given to Rob for his 1st Birthday from his Aunt Mary Jane and Uncle Paul. (That would be about 37 years ago). Sue and Bob sent it to us for Samuel.

Dad's Recliner

2007-10-17T08:23:00.001-07:00

Links to photos

2007-10-17T08:15:00.000-07:00

Hello
Here are some links to photos.

Samuel since arriving in Seattle:
Samuel in Seattle

Pictures from trip (I think these may have some duplicates, but thought I'd include both)
Guatemala

Guatemala 2

My First Stroller Trip

2007-10-16T15:59:00.000-07:00

a couple of pics from first getting home

2007-10-15T21:00:00.000-07:00

(these were taken 16 hours after waking up in Guatemala City)

First picture at home with Abuela (my mom)

Meeting Uncle Nate

Our boy in Seattle

2007-10-14T21:33:00.001-07:00

I am typing as Samuel sleeps (in his crib....at least for now).

We have been home for two days. It is starting to feel like we are here, that Samuel is here, that we are a family, that we will not be giving him back.

Samuel did great on his flights. The first one we had an open middle seat, which was great for playing. He played part of the flight and then slept on Sue's lap the remainder of it.

Houston immigrations was wonderful, everyone was so sweet and said "welcome" and "congratulations" to Samuel. The next flight was longer- over four hours from Houston to Seattle- and it was packed. No middle seat on that one, but instead a serious business man on the aisle, with Rob in the window seat, me in the middle and Samuel bouncing back and forth between the two! He slept the hour before the plane left. So he had plenty of energy for the first two hours of the flight. He didn't cry- but he did try out all the sounds he is learning and practiced his jumping. (Much to the dismay of the man in the seat behind us, who had to hold his fist on the seat to keep his tray from moving while eating). Thankfully everyone was very gracious (and that same man said he and his wife use to travel with their kids when they were little and he thought Samuel did great and that he was very handsome). I even caught the serious business man making faces with Samuel! The last two hours he slept after his bottle and woke up just in time to pass over Boise.

My mom's plane from Minneapolis landed in Seattle at the same time as ours. She was so excited to see her grandson....and he seemed to remember his abuela. Our dear friend Nathan picked us up. He has been with us through this long journey, has spent nights crying with us and many late hours praying for us. (He and Rob have known each other since college....can that be coming up on 20 years??) It was wonderful for him to be there to meet Samuel.

We got to our home around 6pm- and I gave Samuel the full tour of the house. He gave his thumbs up to his living space and politely told us he wouldn't need the crib.

We all sat and stared at him....played with him....he offered lots of giggles (both ones coming from him and ones he caused in us).

He woke up around 4:30am on Sat (but hey, that's 5:30am Guatemala time).

On Sat we....hmmm....I can't even remember what we did on Sat....is that called mommy brain?

I'm sure it was lots of playing, napping and eating- oh and we went for our first walk in the stroller!

Sunday, Samuel and I didn't go to church. (Since Rob was the one "preaching" he decided he should go). We have had many words of wisdom from those who have adopted, from our agency and from those we met in Guatemala. And there was consistency in themese of waiting and allowing Samuel time to adjust. Although he does seem to love people, he can get overwhelmed. He met our neighbor today and while he gave her a big smile, he dug himself closer to me. So with that in mind, I put aside my desire for the whole world to meet this precious boy. It will come.

Hmmm....I started this post on Sunday and am just now getting pack to it. It is only 7:30pm on Monday, but I feel like it's about 10pm. So I think for now, I will go ahead and post and will write more later. Plus I think most of you are looking for pictures anyway!!!

Here are some from our trip home. We have some from since we have been home- look for those in the next few days.

waiting for the 4:30am airport shuttle on Fri morning

Flight Guatemala City to Houston

MAMU AND PAPA GO TO GUATEMALA (Guest Post #2- Bob and Sue)

2007-10-14T14:50:00.000-07:00

Do you know how awesome it is to have something that has been on your prayer list for so long, be answered positively? Well, I just dated and highlighted something that was answered by the presence of Samuel and I am soooooo grateful to God for this answer to this prayer.
So what can I say about the trip to Guatemala? We smiled, we laughed, we were giddy with joy and happiness. We all were talking babytalk, and playing with toys and the total focus was on Sam. How did he sleep, did he nap, what shall he wear, did he eat, did he burp, do you think it is safe, etc, etc. And we had so much fun.
We could tell there were so many people praying for us. How great!!!! Everything went so smooth, no delayed flights, no long lines, comfortable flights, no bumps, . Sam showed up right when they said he would. The American Embassy went smooth. The delivery of the Visa right on schedule. A trip out with a cabbie, smooth as could be. Sam didn’t have to cry on the plane. It was all just perfect.
He is the cutest little guy, two bottom teeth, which he loves to show off. He likes to smack his lips and look in a mirror. You can tell he had a great foster mom. He is cuddly and loves to be held and played with. We worried that he may have a bad transition, but within 24 hours, he would light up when his Mom (Melanie) would pick him up. It was wonderful to watch Rob and Melanie become parents. Rob, the worrier, Melanie, relaxed and eager to try different things.
I told Melanie it was almost like being in the delivery room, watching this all unfold. What a privilege and honor it was for Papa and Mamu to be invited on the trip and get to experience Samuel becoming a Gillgrist.
May God bless you richly little guy and may he also give your Mom and Dad great wisdom in raising you.
Love Mamu and Papa.

Boy Mom Rite of Passage

2007-10-11T15:58:00.000-07:00

This afternoon I had a rite of passage that all boy moms go through.....

I was squirted while changing Samuel's diaper.

more photos

2007-10-11T15:49:00.001-07:00

most of these are from wednesday!

(the last one is me with two women who I met through the Bethany boards)

Stop Order Lifted (Guest Post #1- Rob)

2007-10-10T20:35:00.000-07:00

Something stressful that was once a regular part of my life was the “Stop Order”. Someone would come rushing into my cubicle at work, and drop a red piece of paper on my desk that said in big letters on one side “Stop Order”. What this meant was that one of my product assembly lines had come to a complete halt because of some crisis and the company was in danger of losing thousands of dollars per minute and missing countless customer schedule delivery dates should the order not be lifted immediately.

What does one do during a stop order? One panicks. It’s a somewhat organized form of panic… it is the nearest I have ever been to an Emergency Room setting, where experts representing each part of the manufacturing process immediately circle in order to understand the problem, attempt to contain it and “get the line back up” as quickly as possible.

Often “lifting” a stop order would involve me going out and actually working the line myself. That usually felt dangerous ~ me being more an intellectual than a hands-on type ~ myself making a mess with the little insignificant-looking assemblies of brass and iron until the problems were solved ~ usually with the line foreman and customer reps hovering over me the entire time.

Anyways, I recently remembered that it was during one of these “stop orders” that we lost Mac. Well, Mac actually died weeks earlier, we would find out at that ultrasound appointment that afternoon. It was a routine appointment for us in every way. Just a regular check at 17 weeks of the baby’s growth. Melanie had gone out of her way to make sure the ultrasound was to be done at a hospital on the far side of town where I worked. So, right in the middle of the Stop Order, I said to everyone, “I really gotta go be with Melanie for this appointment. I’ll be back soon, though.”

I wasn’t back soon. I wouldn’t step back into work for almost ten days. I spent six of those days at Melanie’s side in a hospital as she tried through countless torturous means to deliver a dead baby on a maternity floor full of expectant mothers. That seemingly interminable week ended abruptly with a sterile-field violation that prompted an emergency surgery where Melanie was swept from my presence in a matter of minutes . As Melanie on a gurney and a six-person trauma team disappeared into a full elevator after pushing me out (“No you cannot come. We’ll take care of her.”) I slumped to the floor in exhaustion and tears in the elevator entryway, where Ron, Joyce and Nathan found me moments later. We spent the next ninety minutes in terror-filled tears and prayer while surgeons skillfully utilized ultrasound guidance to extract what remained of our son’s “earthly vessel”; causing additional damage to Melanie’s already badly-traumatized womb.

This was how Melanie and I were called to a life of pastoral ministry. I do not have time now to tell that story… but what I realized today for the first time that it was not long after this time that I developed a problem with high-blood pressure. I’m told it runs in my family, but I find the fact that I developed this problem shortly after Mac’s death interesting. For six years I’ve been slowly stepping up my medications in order to keep myself regulated. A better diet would certainly help; and I am in the “fall down six times, get up seven” stage of becoming a healthier eater.

The reason I have high-blood pressure is because I’m a very driven person. I don’t always show it (though I’m learning to, which I think is a good thing) but so often I overreact to some of life’s less important matters. I’m addicted to responsibility. The more, the better ~ or so I must think at some level. Hence more stress, more comfort-eating, more weight gain, more high-blood pressure, more medication. For years I have regularly felt what I can only describe as a “tightness” within my chest cavity and neck. Actually, I don’t usually “feel” it because I have become accustomed to it. That I suppose, is the point of this long story. Because I had to tell you all of that so I could tell you what I want you to know…

I’m light-headed today.

Let me be less vague. Being around Samuel has somehow (at least this week) lowered my blood pressure to the extent where the medication is unnecessary and what I feel are their regular side-effects. I love it! I have a slight head rush every time I walk around. I feel as light as a feather.

Perhaps some experienced parents are now chuckling to themselves about how much more stress Samuel will one day bring Melanie and me. I can only graciously ask you to let us get there in time. For now, we celebrate the lifting of this seven-year stop order that cost us so much but was worth so much more than the depth of Samuel’s deep brown eyes can ever, ever say.

And I will end by quoting the writer of Hebrews, who’s terse testimony concerning Moses the driven, workaholic, irritable leader of Israel’s exodus as my way of taking this opportunity to thank the Everlasting One for the vision He’s given me of Himself that has brought the sweetest, most redemptive ending of one story, and the hope-filled beginning of yet another…

“He endured because he saw Him who is Invisible.”

All glory and praise to the One I owe everything ~

Melanie,
Hector,
Mac,
Dory,
Seven,
Yana Rose,
Dillon,
a few that are not named here…

and now…
Samuel

to. No ache within me is deeper than the one I have for us to one day behold Your face…

all together, at the end of all things..

Rob

Photos!

2007-10-09T17:23:00.001-07:00

Here are the pictures from today. The first couple are before our embassy appt (taken at 6:30am) Then some by the pool and the first taste of baby food from a jar. (messy but fun!!) And then trying to hold Samuel the way the foster mom did (but I had trouble with figuring out- Ruth can you help me??)

Samuel is officially (again) our son

2007-10-09T16:16:00.000-07:00

We had our embassy appointment at 7:15am.
What an experience- about 30 families all there waiting for their number to be called.
Fortunately we were in group 5.
(And the embassy officer use to live in Green Lake area of Seattle- that was fun to talk about)
We had to hold Samuel up and the officer looked at him and compared him to his passport picture- Samuel smiled a big smile for him!!
And then Rob and I held up our right hand and swore that we would take care of Samuel.
He just looked at us very quizically as we repeated after the officer.

As tiring (emotionally and physically) as yesterday was, today was restful.
It felt so good to come back from the embassy appointment.
We went to the pool and Samuel had his first swim- he loved the pool.

He is doing great today.
Last night sleeping in the crib didn't go so well. He would roll over and hit the railing and start crying (close to screaming). So he ended up in bed with us, which seemed very comforting to him. At all times, he had his feet on me and his hands or head on Rob.
He slept great after that (Rob and I may not say the same as we kept watching him and making sure we wouldn"t smoosh him!)
We will have to see how to transition that, but for now it helps with all the changes he is having. (He slept in the bed with the foster mom and her two teenage daughters)

He has eaten a ton today- lots of bottles and bananas and apples. (The rice cereal didn't go so well, we will try that tomorrow)

We are having a great time and loving being with our son. He is a gift. He has the most wonderful personality and loves watching people and playing.

We have pictures from today.
Once we have them on the computer- I'll add them to the blog.

Some good friends of ours all also adopting from Guatemala. Tomorrow their daughters foster mom is bringing her to the hotel. We are so excited to meet her.

signing off for now
melanie

Samuel's here

2007-10-08T17:18:00.000-07:00

I have thought of so much to share, but to be honest I am so tired right now.

I didn't sleep much last night in anticipation.

We met Samuel around 1pm.....I held him and he took a bottle and then fell right asleep while the translator went over our Embassy appt. The foster mom held him while he slept.

She and her daughter were fighting back tears.

For the most part he has done great. He is so much more interactive, playing with toys, etc.

After about 2 hours of play and calm, he started crying and was hard to comfort.

He did have some baby food from a jar and then a bottle. He then slept another half hour and now is doing great again. Hopefully he will sleep well.

He loves this one toy that has a mirror on it, he keeps putting his face to it as though he is kissing the baby in the mirror. Very fun to watch.

well, here are a few pics- probably what most of you want to see. We don't have a ton yet, which i guess makes sense giving we have mostly been staring at him!!

Thanks for praying for us!!

I have asked Bob and Sue to be guest posters- so look to be hearing from them soon.

melanie

We are here....

2007-10-07T22:27:00.000-07:00

Just a quick note to say we are here!!

We landed in Guatemala City at 9pm and are all checked into our hotel.

In approximately 13 hours we will be down in the hotel lobby meeting Samuel.

If you read this in time, please pray for his five hour bus journey Monday morning.
We will post more tomorrow- with pictures, but wanted to at least let inquiring minds know that we are here safe and sound.

Bob and Sue say "hey" and that they are glad to be here. ("Hey" is a South Carolina term!!)

Talk with you all soon.
love
melanie

Three More Nights

2007-10-05T11:37:00.000-07:00

As Rob and I went to bed the other night, I said we only have 5 more nights of going to bed without Samuel. After that he will be with us. It will no longer be just the two of us going to bed.

And now, it is three more nights. Only Friday, Saturday and Sunday. On Monday night we will fall asleep in our hotel room in Guatemala with Samuel with us. And a week from tonight, we will fall asleep in our bedroom in Seattle with Samuel in his crib close by.

And as we count down with tears, I wonder if the foster mom is also counting down. Only three more nights of taking care of this precious baby. In only three nights, his giggle won't be heard in their house.

I am so grateful for the care she has provided. She has given him a foundation. She has been his mom for almost eight months.

Someday I will tell Samuel of his three moms. One who brought life, one who cared for that life while he was a baby and one who taught him who to live that life.

My life has unfolded in a manner that I am not the one to physically bring forth life, nor the one to be giving care in the first few months. And while I will always miss those experiences, I am overwhelmed with gratefulness that I am the one who has the amazing adventure ahead of being Samuel's mom from this day onward.

Baby Shower!!!

2007-10-01T12:53:00.000-07:00

Here are some pics from my baby shower on Saturday. It was wonderful- just remembering brings tears. I completely enjoyed the day and was able to really know that I am a mom.

Here are some of the highlights for me:

Guatemalan decorations and food (delicious)
Fun Game- pictures of Samuel and everyone wrote bubble captions on what he might be saying. And I was the judge to pick out my favorites.
Hearing women tell me what characteristics they see in me that will make me a great mom and what traits they think Samuel will inherit (although I disagree with the number of people who said I was competitive- but guess I should admit my friends warned me before the shower I couldn't compete in my own shower games....and they thought I might have an issue with that)
And my favorite- each person brought a piece of fabric and with it a prayer or wish for Samuel. My friend Kathleen is going to take the pieces of fabric and make a quilt and a quilt book. I guess the book will have a small piece of the fabric with the note. And then when Samuel's older, I can read each of the prayers to him and he can find the piece on the quilt from the little swatch next to the note.
And two of the most precious pieces of fabric were: A piece of one of my Dad's shirts- sent by my mom. And a piece of fabric that Sue used to make pants for Rob when he was little.

Me with the beautiful flower wreath that was made for me!

The great foods and the fabric is from Guatemala and Nicaragua.

This is me with four of my friends who planned the shower. Minus Liza, who put so much time into planning although she knew she couldn't be there.

State of Guatemalan adoptions

2007-09-30T17:22:00.000-07:00

There has been so much news in the past week regarding the future of Guatemalan adoptions. I have wanted to post about it, but have struggled to figure out how to capture all the complexities. Today, I saw that someone from the adoption community has put together a website to talk about the issues.

Please, please check it out.... http://www.5000orphans.com/

In quick summary, the day we heard we had our Embassy appt., the DOS (US Dept of State) issued a statement regarding the immediate future of adoptions from Guatemela. There has been much of this in the last months....but this one being more immediate- stating that effective 12/31/07 adoptions have the possibility of being halted. Even ones currently in process (in PGN). In the past there was talk of in process cases being grandfathered in. There are currently about 5000 in process cases- that is not only 5000 families who have already fell in love with their son or daughter- but more importantly 5000 babies who's lives hang in the balance- as talk of transition and changes occur.

We are so thankful that we are bringing Samuel home. Legally, he is our son- he has our last name and Guatemala has finalized our adoption. We are at the end of the long process- now we just have to travel and pick up his visa from the US Embassy. One the day that brought such closure and relief to us and many of you who have journeyed with us, brought chaos and fear to many waiting.

And we know so many families who are devastated as they face the possibility of not bringing their child home. And we know our own past fear and uncertainty as we would hear rumors of change. Right after we accepted our referral in Feb, our agency stopped giving referrals for a few weeks after the news that as of April 1st cases would cease. Thankfully they didn't.....but I know I had a glimpse of what mothers in process now are feeling- with more intensity than I did.

Please pray- pray for those facing such uncertainty, pray for wisdom, pray for governments, pray for all in process cases to be completed, pray for smooth transitions to a new system, pray for health and care of children who are threatned to be abandoned in the process. Samuel's future brother or sister may be impacted by these prayers. Children of our friends definitely will be.

melanie

For you to look forward to....

2007-09-29T00:17:00.000-07:00

I was just realizing tonight that we can soon be putting pictures of Samuel back on the blog. As you may remember our social worker requested that we not have pictures on the blog until the adoption was finalized.

And now that Samuel has our last name- and from what I understand, now that the Adoption Public Deed is signed, we are legally his parents!!

But I will wait until we are there and have him in arms- and then this blog will probably turn into a photo gallery!!

Good night.
melanie

October 9th at 7:15am

2007-09-25T13:02:00.000-07:00

On that date, Rob and I will be sitting at the US Embassy in Guatemala with our son Samuel.

We found out our date this morning.

That's about all I can type right now through my tears....it is real, he is coming home.

melanie

Car Seat and Zoo

2007-09-21T21:16:00.000-07:00

Rob and I crossed a threshold into parenthood....we now have a car seat in the new Jeep!
In the first attempt, the past engineer in Rob came out and he knew something wasn't right. So out came the car seat which sat in our living room as he was figuring out something about heat transfer (well maybe that wasn't it, but did bring me back to his days of writing his thesis and words related to vectors and force and impact from a car accident).

After studying the aerodynamic issues, adjustments were made and a second attempt was made.....Success!! We have a convertible one (not an infant seat since Samuel will soon be out of that). It looks so big while it is rear facing. But guess when it is turned to forward facing will "fit" better.

On to the second topic- the zoo. I went to Point Defiance Zoo this morning with a woman who is also adopting from Guatemala (we learned of each other through our agency). It was so fun to meet her and to talk about this crazy process. Her daughter is just 2 days younger than Samuel. They are still in PGN, but are hoping to have her home by Nov or Dec. How fun it will be when they are both here and can play together. (And I think Samuel is going to love the zoo!)

melanie

DNA

2007-09-20T18:40:00.000-07:00

Not too much news to report.
We did have a charge on our credit card last Thurs (9/13) from a lab.
I believe this means they would have received Samuels DNA sample. Not sure how long it takes to process...I have heard about a week. So I'm thinking that the lab (in the US) will be sending back the results to the US Embassy in Guatemala. And then the Embassy will notify us (our Pink slip).
My guess is that our Pink slip will come the beginning of next week...so my current estimate is that our appt will be 10/3, 10/4, 10/8, 10/9 or 10/10. (they don't typically have appts on Fridays)
Just wanted to keep you all updated!!
melanie

Oil change and Samuel

2007-09-14T22:51:00.000-07:00

Rob and I just got back from a wonderful day in Victoria BC- thanks to a very generous gift!!
I shared this with a few people, but I had the same experience again today.....

I looked at the little sticker on the windshield of the car for the oil change.
It says the next one is due 11/20......
The other day I saw that and just started crying, thinking "Samuel will be here by then."

It's funny the little things that affect you.
It was the first time I looked at a set date in the future, knowing that he will be here.

melanie

ps tomorrow we are heading to babies r us- we are getting the car seat!!!

Medical Update!

2007-09-14T22:45:00.000-07:00

On Thursday we received Samuel's 7 month medical report.
He is 16.5lb and 26.4 inches.
He gained a pound and grew almost an inch this past month.
He continues to stay on the same growth curve!!

On the medical report they have a catagory that says 0-3 months, 3-6 month, 6-9 months....and then for each catagory a list of developmental task (ie can grasp an object, can support head, etc) and the doctor checks off which ones he can do. Each time he has all of them checked.

This month he moved to a new catagory- the three items are:

can hold object between thumb and index finger
understands no (not sure how they measure that one)
and crawls

The first two said "si" and the last one "no".

Which of course I wouldn't be expecting quite yet.

It hit me this is the last medical report we will get.......we will be bringing him to the doctor next time:)

melanie

Passport

2007-09-12T17:31:00.000-07:00

Today we received a photocopy of Samuel's passport.
It is so cute to see a little seven month old baby in a passport picture!!!

And more so, it was amazing to see our last names after his.
(In traditional Spanish custom, Rob's last name and then my maiden name)

Orange

2007-09-12T00:11:00.000-07:00

We received an email saying our agency received our ORANGE slip from the Embassy today.
You may wonder, what that means....well Orange is the new Pink!
When we first started the process, the Embassy issued a Pink slip, which was basically the notice of your appt date.
With the new DNA requirements- the Embassy first issues a Orange slip, saying the second DNA has been authorized.

So if you look at my previous post- the first six bullet points are done!!!!!
And much much much faster than we ever anticipated. (What we thought would take about 2-3 weeks, was done under a week.)

So what's next?
Samuel has his blood drawn (we think that happened today) and then it will take about a week to get the results. Once the Embassy has the results they issue the Pink slip (that takes about a week to issue). And then we travel.
So we are now looking like it would be very realistic to travel in about 3 weeks.

Thank you for all of your prayers and emails.
I have started printing them out- there are about 50 notes to show Samuel someday of how excited everyone was to keep updated on his journey!!

love
melanie

and yes, this does mean my panic level has increased. I worked on grants for work for about six hours tonight. I'm trying to focus on work on Tues, Wed and Thurs and then all the other days are preparing for our trip!!!!!!

OUT!!

2007-09-07T08:42:00.000-07:00

We received the call saying we are OUT of PGN as of yesterday, 9/6!!

We will be traveling in 4-6 weeks to bring him home!! (Actually our agency said 6-8 weeks, but from what I've been tracking on the discussion boards I think it will be sooner. And she actually said, but you have C as an attorney and he is known for being fast, so you might be sooner. I had heard we have a great attorney in Guatemala.)

So what happens next?

I panick after making my list of things to do before we leave
Samuel's adoption public deed is signed (2-3 days)
New birth certificate issued with our last name (1 week)
Passport issued
Submitted to US embasssy (1 week)
2nd DNA authorized
2nd DNA results (1 week)
Wait for Pink slip (1-2 weeks)
US Embassy appt!!!!!!!!

Our agency said that currently with the new DNA requirments the time from getting notice for your appt and it happening is about one week. Some have only had 4 days notice.

So that means we may get a call on Thurs saying our appt is the next Tues. We will have to be ready to leave quickly!!!!

Samuel we are coming to get you!!!

Today is his seven month birthday.

melanie

Meaning of Samuel Jose

2007-08-22T09:57:00.000-07:00

As Rob and I thought of names of our little boy- we considered many angles.
We wanted it to capture some of his cultural heritage.
We desired the name to have a meaning that was, well, "meaningful"
We hoped the name would sound good with Gillgrist
And we wanted to like the name!!

Everytime we kept coming back to Samuel for his first name.
I have always loved the name Sam for a little boy.

Samuel pronounced in Spanish sounds more like "Sam-well".
And we liked that it wasn't completly foreign to those in Guatemala.

Samuel means "heard of God" or "asked of God".
And it's Hebrew in origin- which I'm sure is cool for his Hebrew professor dad.

And of course I have loved the story in the Bible of Hannah who pleas to God for a child. In her anguish and sorrow she pleas with such abandon that the priest Eli thinks she is drunk.
And when God answers her prayer, she names her son Samuel.
As a child he first hears God still voice in the middle of the night.
And he grows into a wise man who hears, listens to and responds to God.

I just reread this story to remind myself of Samuel- of my hopes and prayers for him.
And this time I was struck by her words regarding naming him Samuel because "I asked the Lord for him".

And I started thinking does the Hebrew word mean "I asked God for ...." or "God heard me"
Or does it mean God hears or I hear of God.
In other words- in naming our baby Samuel- are we saying- we asked God for him.....or God heard us ask for him.....or he will be one who hears God.
I loved realizing they are the same.
For me to ask God means that God heard me.
And to be one that God hears, means that I hear him.
How interesting that there is one word in Hebrew that means both.
(Now I haven't run this by the before mentioned Hebrew scholar of a husband- but this is my own hermenuetical lens)

When I think of asking God for something- my mind doesn't automatically think "God is hearing me". There are days or seasons when he seems noticeably quiet- and I wonder if I'm talking to a wall. And there are seasons where he responds loudly.

Either way, I take comfort in knowing I am heard- even when I don't think I'm hearing back.

And on to Jose.
While we were waiting on the referral of our son, we had decided we would keep his birthname as part of his name. And so when we go the phone call on 2/20, we learned his name was Jose.

When I looked up the meaning of Jose- I thought, how fitting of God to combine these names.
Jose comes from Joseph- which is also Hebrew.
(Don't worry- our next child will not be Melchizedek)
In the Hebrew, the word means- "God adds" or "God will enlarge or increase".
Usually in the context of land or family or influence. (Think of Joseph's brothers selling him into slavery and then him becoming a ruler in Egypt.....Or Joseph, husband of Mary, raising the son of God.)

So our son's name means: "over seven years we have asked God for you and he has heard our plea and now he adds to our family and increases our capacity for love and to bring glory"

For our son, my prayer is that his name will come to mean for him "I am one who is heard by God, I have the audience of the King and I will listen for his voice in the night and I will follow it in order for him to add to his kingdom."

How good it is for my heart, after such a blah day yesterday, to remember my son. I'll go through anything to bring him hom.

Feeling Down

2007-08-21T20:09:00.000-07:00

Today has been a blah day.

After work, I met Joy at the newly opened Panera Bread- and we both recognized that we were quieter than what is typical. (This is the woman I shared an office with at work- we were not short on things to talk about.) And while I know there were lots of reasons why I felt quiet.....

I kept feeling there was something bugging me that I couldn't put my finger on. After I left I was talking with God, trying to figure out exactly why I felt so blah. And I think a big part of it was an email we received from our social worker. At the time I read it, I didn't think too much- but when I let myself really feel, it brought such disappointment and some fear.

The title simply said "Gillgrist- still in PGN"

And the text only said "Gillgrist family is still in PGN since July 5th. Cases currently coming out of PGN were submitted early June."

From that it would seem that we are a month away from being out.

And I had thought we could possibly be out last week- and was thinking definitely by the end of next week.

There are no guarantees and no one that knows when we will be OUT for sure. I have read on my adoption discussion boards of people's cases getting out that were submitted mid June to early July. So either could be true- we are out this week or we have another month to go.

I have known that the adoption journey is not for the faint of heart (nor as I recently read the "sound of mind")

But with the email, as it expanded my time frame, it also brought an acknowledgement that this is beyond my control and that at times I need to just let out a big sigh and turn it all over again.

I also know that in reality the email itself is not "good or bad" news. But it does bring up seven years of stories and loss for me. Seven years of being so close- of living in the "not yet".
I have to fight to keep my mind from believing things that are not true. Of things that are not true about myself as a mother and things that are not true of God's character.

Will you pray for my discouragement.....

Will you pray that our file is reviewed this week- and boldly that we will have a call saying we are OUT?

And that there is nothing that unneccessarily delays or distorts or deceives in this process.

thank you

love

melanie

Hurricane Dean

2007-08-21T17:42:00.000-07:00

We had an email from our sw saying that reports from Guatemala City are that there are heavy rains, but nothing too severe from Hurricane Dean.

Would you pray for Samuel's and the foster family's (and everyone for that matter) safety in the midst of the storm?

Thanks
melanie

Six Month Medical Report and Pictures

2007-08-15T18:04:00.000-07:00

We received today Samuel's 6 Month report:

Weighs 15.5 lbs
Length 25.5 inches long

We also got some cute cute photos of him- if you haven't gotten them in an email yet, please let me know (melanie.gillgrist@gmail.com) and I will send them on to you.

They cut his hair- and I'm looking for votes on what you think!! So far I've been told he is cute either way (the appropriate answer), but that the curls are missed.

Happy 6 Month Birthday!!

2007-08-07T08:45:00.000-07:00

Today is Samuel's 6th Month Birthday.....Happy Birthday little boy. I wonder what you will do today? I'm sure the four women in your life will pay lots of attention to you and hold you and play with you and sing to you.

Happy Birthday Sammy (as the foster mom's daughter calls him- with a long "a")!

If you'd like- please send a birthday wish to him via commenting on this post. I'd love to collect them for the baby book I'm putting together. (A friend sent me a great adoption baby book- I am so excited because many of the standard baby books comments don't quite apply)

Oh and one more thing!!

2007-08-02T20:39:00.000-07:00

We received Samuel's 5 month medical and I don't think I ever posted that:

Doctors visit on 7/2/07 (4 months 25 days)
Weight 14 lbs
Height 62 cm or 24.4 inches
Head Circum 42 cm or 16.5 inches
"sits with support and holds head up"
"verbalizes syllables"
"throws his hands up requesting to be picked up"

I can't wait until we are bringing him to his doctors appointments. Just the other day I was thinking I would start researching peditricians...Many of you know what a process that can be for me!! I love researching, just not making the final decision. (Remember one of Rob's favorite stories of this is when I announced during our wedding planning that I had narrowed our wedding invitations down to my 9 favorites! He asked "How many did you start with?")

For now I am so grateful that he is being taken such good care of- with monthly doctors visits and being loved by the four women in the house!!

Updates

2007-08-02T20:32:00.000-07:00

Yes it is true that I did not post once the whole month of July.
Partially because I was gone from 7/11 to 7/31 and partially because I didn't have much new news, but always have thoughts of things to post.

(I'll have to post later about the Riley Family reunion- my mom is one of 13 children and they are always so much fun. We also attended the second annual golf tournament in memory of my dad. This year the funds went to Ukraine missions.)

Ok- onto the updates!!

We found out that our case was resubmitted to PGN with our PA on 7/5!! That is good news. We hadn't heard anything so we were concerned and thinking that we were still waiting for our case to be resubmitted- so it was wonderful to hear we were already in for four weeks!

We are praying to hear that we are out of PGN by the end of the month (or sooner would be just fine with us!)

PGN Clarification

2007-06-27T16:56:00.000-07:00

I had a few people email me or ask more about the PGN process and what it means in terms of when Samuel comes home. (For those of you following the outline I posted back in May, we are at Step 16. See http://roadtosamuel.blogspot.com/2007/05/process-overview.html)

I had initially thought we would be in PGN by end of July and then moved up to hoping we would be in by beginning of July. And so to go in on June 15th is exciting!! So far then, we have moved along quicker than "average", whatever average means:) But it does seem that some cases move quickly at one point in the process and then hit bumps later...and others that have so many obstacles getting started and then sail along. And then of course ones that seem slow going the whole way through. (I am on our agency's discussion board and can attest to the heartache and uncertainty of the process, it is not for the faint of heart)

PGN is similar to an Attorney Generals office- and is the last process that our case goes through. When it is done with PGN- you will hear a big shout that we are out!

So that is great news- what is a little harder to handle is that the time frames for being in PGN vary ridiculously!! I won't even tell you the range that we heard while we were in Guatemala.

But on average, it seems cases are in 2-3 months. It is unusual for someone's case to go through without any kickouts. I believe our agency says on average a family has 3-5 kickouts (those don't have to be at separate times, we may get one kickout for 3-5 "previos"- things that need to be fixed.) There is one family on our agency's board that went through in six weeks without any kickouts. And another family that just got out last week after six months.

So let's say we go through in six weeks- that means we would be out of PGN on July 27th. And would travel about a month after that to bring Samuel home (or however long to have his birth certificate and visa issued). So he could be home end of August.

If it takes three months (or 12 weeks)- we would be out on Sept 7th (which would be his 7 month bday!!) And home mid October.

If it takes....ok I'm not going there!

Which is actually kind of reassuring to me to see that we are on track for what we posted earlier. I think we had said the earliest we could have him home would be August and that more likely Oct or Nov.

Does that help?

I wish we had a date we could say he will be here. We often get asked that...and it is hard to keep saying I don't know. But keep asking because someday I will be able to tell you- our Embassy appointment is on Wed at 8:15am!! (It does seem they are all early in the morning)

Thank you once again for praying for us and cheering us on. I cannot wait until the day when Samuel gets to meet each one of you.

PGN- We Are In

2007-06-26T11:38:00.000-07:00

The email came this morning saying we were submitted to PGN on June 15th.

We were entered without our PA- which some attorneys do in hopes of speeding up the process. I had heard of that, but didn't know our attorney would do that.

(The thought is that the file is going to be kicked out for something. By submitting without PA, when the file is kicked out, the attorney can fix those issues and resubmit with PA. The hope is that the file is being reviewed while the wait occurs for PA.)

If that doesn't make sense, you can just say "Whooo Hooo" they got into PGN. That's what Rob decided this morning after I was explaining the pros and cons of going into PGN without PA- bottom line, it's good we are in PGN. It may speed up what our case would have been, or it may be the same time frame....but we are in- the last leg of the journey!!!!

One more day closer to Samuel.

Rob was born in Pittsburgh......

2007-06-22T17:26:00.000-07:00

PA!!

Ok that was my attempt at a clever way to announce that we received PA.

I was on my way back from lunch with a friend when Rob called me. (After all my obsessive hourly refreshing of my email...Rob is the one to see it first.) It said "a pre-approval has been issued for the above mentioned adoption case. You may pick up the pre-approval at Window 10." That made us want to head back down to Guatemala to be at Window 10 first thing Monday morning....but I suppose we will leave that to the attorney to pick up.

So we now wait for our case to enter PGN.

(I guess when I'm feeling really impatient about something, I should just post it on the blog.)

Happy Friday night.

4:30 Blues

2007-06-21T23:00:00.000-07:00

I have been noticing that since being back, every weekday about 4:30pm I start getting sad. It is connected to the realization that another day has gone by without an update or news on our adoption process. Usually emails from our case worker come first thing in the morning or around 4-5pm.

I've been hoping for either an email saying we have PA (those have actually been coming on Saturdays) and even more so this week, an email with a medical update. We typically get those once a month, after Samuel has had his x month checkup. He turned 4 months on 6/7 and yet no update. Of course we were there with him when he turned 4 months, so I know it was most likely the next week that he went to the doctor. I'm not anxious for pictures, but just for something to document how he is doing.

I suppose it stems from a whole week of watching his every breath. Of knowing all that he was doing. And the last I saw was on June 8th, him leaving in a taxi with the foster family. Did they make it to the bus ok? How was their five hour journey home? Did he have to adjust back? Does he miss us?

It is so much harder to wait now that we have experienced his presence.

Come on PA and come on Medical Update.

Waiting for PA

2007-06-18T15:21:00.000-07:00

The next step on the paperwork journey is Pre Approval (PA). This is issued by the US Embassy in Guatemala. It allows us to enter PGN- the final leg of this journey. (See my post below for all the steps. We are on step 15.)

Recently the US Embassy gave notification that PA would begin to take up to 60 days (measured from when DNA results are matched and at the embassy). We are on about Day 53.

The wait feels like it has intensified since being with Samuel for the week.

I don't want to forget what it felt like to hold him and what he smelt like and how he giggled when he took a bath.

Please pray for PA to come soon.

Happy Fathers Day

2007-06-17T20:46:00.000-07:00

Happy Fathers Day to all of you fathers and to all of you who father in many ways.

Happy Fathers Day to Rob- the father of Samuel. I can not wait to see you day to day as a father- all of your dreams of parenting and guiding and talking and shepherding. You are an amazing man, an amazing Dad. How many babies will grow up knowing all about theology and heat transfer? And how many will have a dad who is so enthusiastic about life- who loves to celebrate each milestone? You have already written volumes to your son. I don't know if he will ever see all the words your have written to him and on his behalf. But I do know he will see how those words are lived out in your life. And he will be impacted. What is that Lewis quote, "the pain now is part of the joy later. Or the joy now is part of the pain later". I suppose both are true in the journey of being a dad. Thank you for not letting go of either.

And of course I can't think of Fathers Day without thinking of my dad. It is bittersweet as I think of Samuel...and that in this life he will not know my dad. I promise he will grow up knowing lots of stories of his grandfather. There are a lot to tell. Your grandfather, your abuelo, was a man full of life and passion. He gave of himself to relationships and coffee and Sunday night basketball. He loved your abuela since he was only 18....and he cherished his only daughter. Because of the love and security he gave his daughter, she grew into a woman who could endure such loss and still hope for you. She grew into a woman who could tenderly accept the love of the world around her, and trust something bigger than herself to protect from it's harm. His life here ended too quickly, too unexpectedly. But he died in the way he lived- running up and down the basketball court, sharing his faith and showing the world how much he loved his family.

Fathers leave us with many marks- some of harm and some of grace. Thank you Father that my experiences have been gifts, legacies that I will carry on. And even more than that, thank you that you are a redeemer and in those places of harm and abuse that so many in my world have known, you can step in and be a tender Father- and one who will fight for our healing.
Happy Father's Day to you too.

No More Pictures

2007-06-11T10:01:00.000-07:00

Hello
You may see that there are no longer pictures here. We received an email from our agency asking us "to not post any pictures or identifying information about your child until the child is legally yours. It could be a cause of denying your adoption within the country of their birth."

Obviously we do not want to do anything that could harm the adoption process, so we have removed all pictures- and links to the picassa web pictures.

We are checking with our agency to see if it is ok to email pictures- if so please let us know if you would like any updates and we will add you to an email list.
(you can email me at melanie.gillgrist@gmail.com)

Thanks!!
Melanie

We are home

2007-06-09T18:43:00.000-07:00

Hi, it's Melanie. We landed a few hours ago.
I've been both drawn to wanting to post...and struggling to have words.
I thought a lot on the plane (at least the Houston to Seattle leg- Gua City to Houston I slept soundly!!), what words do I have to say?

I'm so glad that Rob posted pictures and some updates. It has been great reading your comments and encouragement. We do have a beautiful son. (maybe I shouldn't use the word beautiful as I am still getting over a woman asking "how old is she?" Rob said I looked at Samuel and then back at her as though I was amazed she could think my child was a girl- and said HE is four months today!)

Ok, so back to what do I have to say?
I think my emotions are still catching up with me. So I'm not sure I have much "emotion" to post tonight, but would love to share some of the "facts".

As many of you know, I'm a linear thinker....so here I go!
We arrived late Monday night to thunderstorms. We knew it was rainy season, but weren't expecting thunderstorms every afternoon. At least it was predictable!
I don't think I slept much Monday night- and I got up early to not miss the phone call to say they were here.
Our paperwork said that if we hadn't heard from them by 11am, we could call Oscar, our translator. At 10:59am we started dialing. He said we will be there at 1:30pm.
Our hearts both sunk as we were expecting the call any minute to say they are in the lobby....but also was relaxing to have a time set.

So at 1:30pm (mountain time) on June 5th we met Samuel for the first time.
I can picture so clearly the moment we walked into the lobby, and seeing the foster mom sitting on the sofa, as she turned around with Samuel on her lap, he looked up at us and slowly let out the biggest smile. He smiled and giggled with us for the next hour or two.
She handed him to me and we sat while we went over all the info- feedings, how to comfort him, etc. That's when we learned that he poops once a day and hadn't yet that day.

The foster mom and her mom were wonderful. I will have to have a whole post on them. They were kind and caring and so clearly love Samuel. They live in the Guatemala Highlands and it had taken them 5 hours by bus and taxi to get to the hotel. It is the greatest "consolation" (not sure if that's quite the right word) to know that Samuel is with them right now. It truly made saying goodbye much more about my sadness in missing him, but not concern on how he will be doing. He has four women (including her two teenage daughters) who love him and hold him and nurture him.

After we said goodbye to them, we headed up to the room. We held him and played with him and were immediately in love. After a while, we called my mom for her to come meet her grandson. It was wonderful to have her there. (Both from a practical sense in her help and it was so tender to see how natural she is as a grandmother for the first time).

Around this time is when the wheel fell off (isn't that the phrase Ted uses?). Samuel would not eat, we would try and try, but he would not take his bottle. And then the crying started. It broke our hearts. It was a cry that I later learned was different from I'm hungry or I need a diaper change. We tried everything.....that's when we became concerned that maybe he was constipated. That night was so hard.

Now I look and I think, for the first time he spent five hours on a bus, he is in this hotel, he doesn't know us and he is exhausted. Around 8pm he fell asleep. He slept until 2am. When he woke up, I tried feeding him and he took a couple of oz. At 4am he woke up, and was smiling, took a full bottle and from then on didn't stop smiling. He slept close to the same schedule the foster mom told us- to bed around 8pm, wakes up at 2am sometimes for a feeding, and then wakes up at 4 or 5am, takes a nap at 8:30am and at noon.
I knew it was trouble when I heard of an 8:30am NAP.

Tues was a hard day, I was so worried he was not going to get enough to eat. That worry soon disappered as I thought can he really be ready for another bottle?

It was a delight.

I'm realizing that I think I'm done for tonight. There is so much to type.
I'll continue on in the next couple of days, because there is much to say.
I'll close with a list of some of my favorite things of the week:

Bathing Samuel and listening to him giggle as he splashed the water
Seeing his eyes light up when I would pick him up from a nap
Changing his clothes a couple times a day (maybe not his favorite)
Trying to speak Spanish
Seeing Rob carry him in the baby bjorn
Meeting the foster mom and some of her family
Watching my mom talk with Samuel
Samuel and Rob watching intently the cartoon channel (recommended by his foster mom)
Having ten people reply to the fact that Samuel hadn't pooped and caring so much to follow the progress

Thoughts like that begin to bring tears to my eyes...and reminds me that my heart will catch up, and that I will soon post with all the emotion that the week was.

For now, I head to bed- exhausted- well more of an empty feeling. And I head to bed wishing I was being woken up at 2 or 4am.

love

melanie

PS Be sure to check out the link Rob posted below. Some more pictures have been added. I may also post here some of my favorites.

all the pictures so far...

2007-06-06T09:24:00.000-07:00